Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within is a forgettable movie that has almost nothing to do with Final Fantasy.
| Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within | |
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| Upload Date | August 18th 2016 |
| Series | ProReview
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| Link | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6KW-Oe7Ki4 |
| Score | Final Fantasy XIII out of ten
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Synopsis[]
Jared is not a movie watcher. He makes sure he sees movies he is interested in, and therefore has seen some hilariously bad video game movies. Jared knew that they would be bad - except for Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.
Final Fantasy became knows for its stunning cutscenes and stories. Final Fantasy VI is Jared's favorite video game, and he loves the franchise - even if he doesn't like all of them. He throws the Final Fantasy XIII box over his shoulder. Jared saw Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within in cinemas, and cried himself to sleep that night.
The movie begins with a dream sequence. It's not even exciting imagery. Spirits Within starts off by showing the viewer literally nothing! They should have started with the dream sequence with the aliens invading to allow the viewer to ask questions. Oki Ross is introduced and is introduced by reading the text on the back of the DVD box - and Jared follows along. Jared describes the story, as Oki is looking for something. She runs away from goopy thingies.
After finding a life-form, "excitement" happens. The characters make a hasty retreat. We have no idea who anyone is, and why we should care about them. The CG was a big thing that was going for it. Parts of it still hold up like the gadgets and the city. The backdrops look really good. The animation of the skin looks like it was stretched over robots.
Oki was given a lot of praise for being realistic, and being a female protagonist who wasn't being overly sexualized. This lasted about a week. The animators put her in a bikini so she could appear in Maxim's top 100!
Jared continues discussing the plot. There is a lot of exposition, and Jared summarizes what the point is. Another dream sequence is shown, which provides a sweet trailer footage. Jared notices that the camera zooms in to the middle of Oki's face instead of her eye, before shifting to her eye for two frames. Jared caught the movie cheating!
Jared points out the obvious bad guy. The characters argue and the scene becomes a discussion about spirits not being real. Jared makes funny voices for the characters to describe the arguments between the characters. Oki is looking for the seventh spirit. We're on the fourth disc already! The characters fight and almost bang!
The voice acting is terrible and wooden. Oki is wooden. Alec Baldwin is miscast. There aren't many characters that are voiced well. The story line is bland and boring. There is a lack of acting. Another dream sequence is shown for more trailer footage! Phantoms attack and eats a guy's spirits. They are very inconsistent. Jared points out the inconsistencies.
Jared continues to summarize the plot. Oki continues to have several dreams. Jared cues a dramatic sound effect as Grey is also in the dream. Jared complains about the characters not realizing that phantoms and ghosts are the same thing! Jared questions the phantom's motivation. Jared can't remember the name of the sergeant who died. More people that Jared doesn't recognize die. They censored the word bitch in a PG 13 movie, and Jared censors fucking.
Jared complains that there are still 30 minutes left to this movie! Jared points out that the general is right, he's just being a dick about it. The characters want the same thing, and compares them to Mass Effect.
The eighth spirit gets nuked. Jared rages as the characters continue to call the phantoms and ghosts different things. Gaia exists below the earth's crust! The eighth spirit is fine - there are two of them in phantom. Jared is confused by a final dream sequence.
Jared is confused by Grey's final act. Jared wonders why Oki couldn't be the hero. This isn't a good movie, but it is often forgotten that it doesn't do anything over the top good or bad. The story is stupid, the voice acting is bad, as is the pacing. The movie is forgettable. This isn't a Final Fantasy movie. At least most bad movies have something about the franchise that it bases itself off of. Spirits Within doesn't. The movie doesn't change without the Final Fantasy name.
Apart from Dr. Sid and Jared thinks he saw a Chocobo logo at one point. Jared makes suggestions that would make the movie more like Final Fantasy. The movie should have ended with a big boss fight. The whole movie is just boring. Jared is thankful that that is over with, and that Square didn't make another Final Fantasy movie - or two!