Jared plays the worst clown game ever.
| Kid Klown in Crazy Chase | |
|---|---|
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| Upload Date | April 14th 2017 |
| Series | ProReview
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| Link | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7YFZuG5Sb8 |
| Score | An internet troll out of ten
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Synopsis[]
Nobody likes clowns - ever. Not just those who have a phobia. Everyone has said that they want to see a clown die in a fire. And for Jared, that clown was Kid Klown. They spelled clown with a K, but missed an opportunity with the rest of the title. Princess Honey is barely a clown with just her clown nose. Jared is not comfortable with the sexy clown. There isn't much evil about Blackjack. He has a space whale, screw Clown Planet!
Why would anyone want a klutz in a complicated spaceship. Kid Klown crashes into the planet immediately. Blackjack lights a bomb at the start of each stage. Literally everything in this game is against you. The game itself, everything in it, the obstacles, and Blackjack himself!
Dying once is a game over, and you must use a continue. At the start of the game, Kid Klown gets hurt before doing anything! Every single button is jump! Everything will try to kill you. It is like playing a cartoon, supposed to be funny when Kid Klown gets hurt. Honestly, it is funny. Jared describes some of the crazy obstacles. A balloon that normally drops health, crushes Kid Klown instead! This bush is trying to kill him. F*** you nature.
The controls make it hard to not be hit by stuff. Jumping is difficult to control. Moving in mid air is faster, and going past an item means you can't get it. There are dozens of different hurt animations, giving them a lot of variety, but the humor wears out and applies to only four year old children. The animations go for so long, and they have to be sped up by mashing the controls. This happens every few seconds due to how terrible the controls are. There is a lot of time to get to the bomb though.
Suddenly, Kid Klown runs back up. He has to do it all again because he must collect all four card faces. Missing just one makes Kid Klown run back to the beginning. Missing one item balloon means you many miss a crucial item. Beating the stage with the cards gives the player a key, and they can move on.
Mini games allow the player to restore your health. This is kind of neat. Kid Klown can get stuck in a coke can. It turns out some of the booby traps are booby goods with secrets! There is no way to tell which are which, so you find yourself hitting the traps on purpose!
In the volcano stage, Blackjack tries to kill Kid Klown with a hammer. The ice level sucks. There are too many platforming obstacles. The fifth level is a dark stage. The game only has five levels.
The keys collected go to rescuing Princess Honey. There are 5 keys, and 10 locks. If you lose all the keys, a bomb blows up Princess Honey, and you get the bad ending. The whole game makes a 50/50 chance of getting the bad ending.
Jared got the bad ending, and had to play the whole game again. This time he got the good ending. This time, the Princess gets it off with Prince Studley instead! Jared finds out that he needed to get all of the Honey Hearts! He finds that he needed to get them all on his first attempt! Fine! Jared played again and got better at the game.
Jared finds a power up. Kid Klown starts jumping on his own! They are power downs, making it harder to play! Everything else is against you, why wouldn't the power ups?
Jared got the neutral ending again, despite getting everything on his first try. Jared realizes that he continued! He can't use a single continue! Jared screams into his arms. The game has to be played without death every single time. Princess Honey is all over Kid Klown. Hard mode is unlocked. It has a much faster timer. It only unlocks the credits, which Jared does not want to see.
Nothing about this game was fun. It was done solely to annoy the player.
Jared gives it an internet troll out of ten. The game is full of trick tactics to make it seem like there is more game here then there really is. The amount of traps is beyond infuriating, but there is also the bad design. Being forced to get all the items on the first try is infuriating, making it harder with the controls.
With only five stages, and no real differences between each level, the game would only take 30 minutes. The game is designed to make fun of the players. The designer seemed to be bullied as a kid, and used this game to bully everyone who played it.
Jared shows the sexy clown ass from the good ending of the game.