Jared grades Sony's amazing press conference. Last year's is here.

Grading Sony's Press Conference E3 2016
Upload Date June 13th 2016
Series E3 2016


Synopsis Edit

Jared, with his head in his hand had really high hopes for Sony. It was shit after dumb, after stupid. He's kidding. It was an awesome press conference! It was one hour of non-stop games. It was exactly how a press conference should be. Jared was blown away. There was a band in the front playing live music - similar to what Nintendo did with Skyward Sword.

It starts with a Gregorian chant, and a kid is shown. The dad is bearded Kratos! This was vastly different from the other God of War games, and was more like Uncharted. It was focused on the characterization of Kratos and his son. He was a bearded son trying to teach his son how to hunt. Jared feels that eventually, you would play as the son.

It goes into another trailer. A post-apocalyptic world called Days Gone. It seems very Last of Us-ish, but it isn't. There wasn't a lot of gameplay.

A reel of The Last Guardian was shown. It has a feasible release date! There was a quick montage with snippets of gameplay. We know how the game will end - one of the characters will die.

A live demo for Horizon was shown off. The dinosaur hunting robots game shown from last year. It looked dope. Jared likes the scanning for weak points before hitting them. They showed some crafting and the 'corrupted' enemies. Jared describes everything he saw. It looked really cool.

Detroit Become Human was next. It was the guy who made Beyond Two Souls and Heavy Rain. Jared discusses the concept. Numerous possibilities were shown from one situation, and it comes from decisions made earlier. However, it is still David Cage, and his games suck, so Jared is not optimistic. He does like investigation games however.

They talked about PlayStation VR and started with a high price tag and a release date. The Vive will be better for VR. The first game was shown. It was obvious that this was an actual demo, as the screen was moving around. The first game looked like Outlast. A montage is shown on video tape. People are hunting the character. It was revealed to be Resident Evil 7! It is going back to its horror roots! Jared hopes it isn't just VR, and hopes it isn't a first person only game.

Some Star Wars VR was shown. It was brief, but it was X-Wing footage. It has the Battlefront name. They also teased a Batman VR game. Jared trusts Rocksteady to make a Batman game. Another original VR game was based on a space planet. Jared doesn't know what type of game it is. It is called Far Point. There is a good variety.

Final Fantasy XIII was shown and the Chocobo theme was played. You won't play the full game in VR. It looked like a mini game that can be played with VR. It didn't look great, but it could be a bonus. There was enough there to warrant Jared wanting Sony's VR.

Another space game was shown and Jared describes what he saw. Eventually it became a generic shooter. It sounded neat, and it was revealed to be Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare. Jared had no idea he was looking at a Call of Duty game. People would have hated on it if they had of revealed the game title first. Jared still won't play it because he isn't into that, but it was a good way to reveal it. Jared impersonates the teaser for the Modern Warfare.

The next announcement was Crash Bandicoot. Remasters of the original games were announced. Jared didn't experience the original games, but people were stoked. Jared can see why that was a big announcement. The next Skylanders will also have Crash Bandicoot in it. You can draw your own Skylanders, so Jared is interested to see how many Dicklanders there will be.

Lego Star Wars was next, and the Lego games are simple and enjoyable. It was inevitable. The game comes out in two weeks! It sounded like all the characters reprieved their roles, except for Harrison Ford. Jared forgets one of the actor's names.

Hideo Kojima took the stage. He showed a trailer for his new game, Death Stranding. Jared describes the trailer. Normal Reeves from The Walking Dead and PT are in the trailer! It didn't show anything from the gameplay. However, everything from the PT trailer was shown, meaning that Hideo Kojima is still making the same game. Jared is glad that Kojima did not abandon the game - unlike Konami.

A Spider Man game was shown, and Jared was surprised that Insomniac was making it.

Days Gone was shown off and some gameplay was shown off. It still looked like Last of Us. Jared questions how silences work. Hundreds of zombies surround the characters chasing after the dude. It wasn't super exciting from a zombie game, but it was impressive how many zombies were flying out at once.

A bunch of other games were shown in a montage at the end. There was a lot shown. Jared gives Sony an A. They crushed it. It wasn't an A+, because they needed something stronger to end on. Jared is excited about Sony's VR.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.