Jared gets angry as he plays Mega Man X7.

Mega Man X7
Upload Date July 17th 2015
Series ProReview

Score A bleeding ear out of 10

Synopsis Edit

Jared is facepalming as he holds the game stating that it is an example of the worst 2D to 3D conversions. The Mega Man X games are fantastic until 5 and 6, but anything would have been better than 7.

Axl is a doofus, and a new character, and Jared doesn't hate him. The game plays like ass and is sluggish. Jared tries to walk down a 3D corridor, and Axl somehow moves slower here than in the 2D sections. The camera is too close and in a weird place. Finally, Zero appears, and his level is the first level from Mega Man X. They do this throughout the whole game.

Jared thinks that it is desperate to use nostalgia to trick people into liking a game. Jared holds the Mega Man X cartridge in front of the Mega Man X7 box, and makes it appear to be a sexy woman before revealing the ugly box behind it. Jared discusses the plot. The next section involves playing as Axl and Zero, but not X. Jared is angry. Playing as Zero sucks now.

Even the boss intro screens are uninspired. Axl can kill enemies with a special shot and copy them entirely, which is OK in theory, if it were used in more than one place. They have to be killed at the last hit with this weapon, which does very little damage, and enemies take a lot of damage anyway! So the player ends up risking killing them. They aren't better to play as at all, even though some allow Axl to move into areas he couldn't have otherwise.

All he needs to do is shoot. The lock on happens automatically, and half the challenge of the enemies has been taken away! All the player has to do is mash the shoot button. Even the bosses are easy as the player doesn't have to do anything.

Jared describes the Reploid mechanic. Some of these give power-ups and there is no way to know until they have already been collected, meaning that the player can accidentally upgrade someone they don't want to.

Games are over tutorialized today, and Jared thinks it started with Mega Max X7. Alia explains EVERYTHING! She explains every single chip every time. They even explain the stage select!

The ride armor is slow, dumb and locks-on things through walls. Jared finds that enemies can just be walked around, so they don't provide a challenge. The 2D sections are terrible too. The voice acting is also terrible. Jared questions why they don't just build another robot, if they need Axl so badly. Jared talks about the dumb bosses and stages.

The player must save 64 reploids to play as X! This is at least 5 stages! The other characters have already been powered up after saving reploids, meaning that X is very under powered. Jared hates the confusing level that flips the stage upside down making everything confusing. The special weapons are uninspired and ineffective, and weren't built with a 3D level design in mind. Special weapons are never used to find hidden areas or used in any special way. Standard weapons are better in almost all situations.

The armor capsules are usually really fun in Mega Man X games. Here he just floats. Jared throws his controller in frustration and gives up. The other armor capsules are uninspired too. There is no sound effect for finding a heart tank or 1-up! The swap mechanic is really good though. Swapping between characters makes the characters feel like they are apart of a team.

Jared plays the chaser bike level, and it is very slow, and the controls are sluggish and unresponsive, and isn't possible to control where you are going at high speed.

Jared has reached the last boss, which Jared builds up to, because of how awful the voice work is during this boss fight. It constantly yells "BURN! Burn to the ground" for the whole boss fight. The other bosses are nothing compares to Flame Hyenard. Why can't everyone in this game stop talking! Jared explains the last levels and the plot, which he has nothing good to say about any of it. X is still whinging about violence.

This game was a painful experience for Jared. Sometimes the Mega Man games became stale, but they were never bad. The game is obnoxiously irritating. Everything about this game was wrong. They couldn't even get the 2D sections right. Jared didn't even mention the glitches or the bizarre game mechanics. The characters all have irritating voices. If Capcom does make a new Mega Man game, it could come out like this. Jared can be done with Mega Man X7 forever, and then Alia annoys him again.

Trivia Edit

  • This episode debuted at SGC 2015.

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