Jared is desperate to find the Triforce, fights lots of dodongos, and defeats dungeon 8.

Triforce Blue Balls ¦ Legend of Zelda RANDOMIZED #6
Upload Date November 14th 2016
Series Legend of Zelda RANDOMIZED


Synopsis Edit

Jared isn't even sure if he can complete dungeon 5. He finds the map, and the Triforce room. It has a key in it now. Jared grabs the compass, and now knows where the Triforce is. Jared is glad that he can kill the bunny dudes with the sword. He finds 5 dollars in a room. "Womp womp!" After killing some enemies, they drop a heart container. Jared realizes that he can't do this dungeon either.

Jared loses 41 rupees on the money making game. Jared apologises for being terrible and blames the "Triforce Blue Balls". "Triforce blue balls - When you want to hero, but can't." Jared teleports back to Spectacle Rock. Jared realizes that he always saw things as other things in this game rather then what they were supposed to be! Jared has lost Spectacle Rock. Jared kills a centaur family for their bombs.

Jared is disappointed when he finds a money moblin. He finally finds at Spectacle Rock, which now has money. Nearby, he gets another heart container, and can now get the magical sword. "Is that progress though?! Because we still got Triforce blue balls!"

Jared chooses to die, so he can get closer to the magical sword. He attempts to take the sword, but can't. Jared thinks he doesn't have enough hearts. "It's probably because of the blue balls!" Jared purchases an expensive shield. Jared finds the silver arrow, and realizes that he needs the stepladder to get to it. The silver arrow is just chilling out on some floating planks of wood in the ocean!

Jared needs the stepladder for everything now! "It's behind every secret we know about that you keep walking past!" Jared believes that he should have just made a map. Jared tries to use bombs on a wall, but it reveals nothing. Jared wonders if he can do level 8. "It's randomized! The Triforce could be one room over for all you know!"

Jared decides to look around. Jared finds the Triforce room with 5 dollars in it! "Fun!" Jared fights 3 dodongos. He stuffs up on the last one, and needs to find more bombs to come back to. Jared finds a room full of enemies. Jared uses the candle to kill most of the enemies. They drop the map. After complaining about not having bombs, he gets some. "Complain and you shall receive!"

Jared finds an old man giving a clue that he already knows about. "Thanks a lot! You useless old schmuck!" Another man hangs out in the next room with a secret for a completely different dungeon. "Oh great! Another old bastard!" Jared decides to buy more bombs. Jared advertises Allda Bombs. "For when you need something blown to smithereens." "*Slogan pending!"

Jared is annoyed that all the dodongos are back. They drop bombs, and Jared cleverly leaves the bombs there to come back to later. Jared comes up from behind a dragon! He kills it quickly. "Well fuck that dragon!" Jared goes into the serious gameplay stance. "AKA: Try Hard Mode.

Jared wonders why the rabbits never made a comeback. "They did you can find them in! Link's Awakening, Sesons and Ages, and Phantomb Hourglass." "They are even kinda spoopy in Phantom Hourglass!" Jared finds a tunnel, where he is scared by the many rabbits that appear and kill him. Jared wants to blow up the area around the old men. "Yeah! Ruin their homes!"

Jared finds another dodongo. After killing more darknuts, a lot more bombs appear. "What is this? Bombapalooza!" Jared finds another dragon. Jared finds a room of money, which only gives him around 8 dollars. Jared tries to kill darknuts for hearts, which was not worth it. Jared finds the book - which does nothing for him right now. Jared checks off everything in this dungeon. "Actually since the master key is normally here too there may be another special item."

Jared is determined to beat this dungeon. "Oh boy, here we go again!" Jared tries to get past the rabbits, and fails. "Fun fact! In the Famicon version of Zelda you can plug a microphone into the second player slot and kill all the pols voice (bunny fuckers) by yelling into the mic!" Jared gets a fairy and heads back. Jared is excited to have found a stop clock to get into the rabbit room easily. He gets another stop clock in the rabbit room.

Jared gets the compass, revealing where the Triforce piece is. Jared finds the eye boss, and defeats it. It dropped 5 dollars! Jared enters a room full of darknuts that have the Triforce. He gets the Triforce, and apologises for the long episode. "No more triforce blue balls!"

"Wow, dungeon 8! Jared is just throwing order out the window! It was all thanks to my healing though. And my impossibly small waist! And if you want 1 pixel thick abs you should click on a video! I'm not sure how it will help, but it can't hurt! So just click on a video and find out!"

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