Jared rapidly presses a button as he angrily plays Two Worlds II. The game does not respond to his mashing!

Two Worlds II
Upload Date February 22nd 2011
Series ProReview

Score A doctor's shot out of ten


Synopsis Edit

Jared didn't want Two Worlds II to exist. The first game was so bad that Jared is infuriated by the fact that it got a sequel! It didn't start as a sequel though. It started as an expansion pak. It got delayed several times, and Jared forgot about it for a year. The developers even acknowledged how terrible the first game was, so they knew that the sequel had to be good.

They had to send out apology letters to retailers. The best apology they could come up with was Two Worlds Two. More like "Two Worlds Too Soon!"

Jared discusses the plot. Gandohar from the first game is back - but Jared killed him last time. Jared concludes that they thought the first game didn't exist.

The main character's sister is Kyra now! Gandohar is a badass - you can tell by his sword and armory. This is how you show off a villain. Showing him how strong he is. Jared is stopped, when an arc kills one of the game's bosses!

Jared complains about how immature it is that one of the characters have very large breasts. Jared talks about the dark, gritty idiot of a main character. It's hard to talk him seriously, and the characters have unnatural body movements. The love connection gets abandoned very early on in the plot - just like Jared's dates!

Once Jared gets into the world, he finds that side quests are everywhere, and Jared doesn't care about doing the quests. The first battle Jared gets into is against some skeletons, and he gets his ass kicked! Jared discusses the awkward combat. Moving around is very loose, and the controls are unnecessarily complicated. Sneaking and running fast are the same button!

Jared discusses the stupid quests just to get through two closed gates. The main quests do not contribute anything to the actual plot. It's just a bunch of meaningless tasks. When Jared gets to the tower, he fights a green thing, and takes a journal and takes it back to Underboob.

There are more annoying pointless filler, which Jared quickly reads through in his notes. All he got from this was flashbacks.

Sordahon randomly appears. Why did he wait for Jared to appear here? Jared figures that he is new to this. Sordahon's ghost is killed. Does that make him super dead? Jared starts skipping over the conversations. The first game had a poor script with poor voice acting. At least this one has passable voice acting. The main character sounds dead inside, and Jared hopes he is like that all the time!

Jared continues talking about the redundant plot quests. Jared struggles to pronounce Kyra's name - as the game can't decide how to pronounce it, as he defeats a boss that was obvious that he was evil.

Jared makes his way through a secret tunnel, and the game starts throwing plot twists at the player. Jared discusses how the game ends. A new emperor has to be crowned. Jared is excited at being able to have control over the land. Kyra becomes the emperor instead! Jared just gets a sexually tense walk. Jared anticipated a painful experience, and it was over before he knew it!

Jared came in with a negative mindset, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world. There are some bad gameplay pieces, and the story is a joke. As a hack and slash, it is competent. Jared likes the crafting system, and the co-op. Jared doesn't recommend the game at full price, but for $20-$30, you might be surprised.

Jared likes how the game makes fun of itself, and is impressed that the developers listened to complaints. Two Worlds II is vastly superior to the first game. Like that was hard to do!

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